Life is tough.
No matter how brave a face you put on, chances are your life's not perfect. This past year was the toughest year of my life - emotionally and physically. I gained a ton of weight, I was diagnosed with depression, and I was diagnosed with all sorts of anxiety. My self-esteem plummeted to an all time low and I felt a level of self hatred unmatched in all my life. I loathed myself so intensely that it felt unnatural to look in the mirror and not hate what stared back. I found myself unable to talk to new people and unable to open up. And yet, it was then that I truly discovered myself.
Hitting such a low was awful. It shook me to my core and changed me. As much as I try to get better, I keep regressing - and it's frustrating. But I have progressed. I have gotten better. And every little step counts.
Through it all, I found what was truly important to me.
My friends. My family. Music.
I've always held my friends and family near and dear to my heart; but it wasn't until this year that I fully realized my passion for music. Music is more universal than anything in the world. It is a way to communicate with millions of people, and emotionally on top of that. Music touches the soul in a way nothing else can. Even in my darkest hours music could make me feel. Whether it made me feel sad, happy, frustrated, angry - it always made me feel better. In that way music is more powerful than any drug, any high in the world. Music saved the little happiness I had left, and it helps my smile grow a little bigger each day.
x x
If you're struggling emotionally or physically, please reach out to someone. Holding everything in is not a solution. Remember, you are worth it, and you do deserve happiness.
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